the news

I've been really sick the past few days, and staying home from work. After two days at home, I'm trying to remember why I used to love staying home from school so much. It's so boring! Daytime TV does nothing for me. Judge Judy, Montel, Little House on the Prairie (I know this makes me sound evil, but I've always hated that show). So anyway, I've found that my boredom has led me to a new obsession: the news! And I'm not talking about US Weekly, or People magazine, which I usually refer to as "the news". I'm talking about the actual news.

I usually try to avoid watching the news (and have even been forbidden to watch it by people at times), because I end up thinking about it too much, and it makes me sad. Basically the news is just a big downer. But there's some crazy stuff going on these days, and I wanted to share it. Here are a few of the gems I've found:


1. This huge snake in Australia ATE a family's pet Chihuahua! And the kids were watching! But if you read the article, you'll see there are some sketchy elements to the story. First of all, the family says the snake had been "stalking" their dog, and they even saw the snake in the dog's bed a few days before the attack. Don't you think, if you saw a 16 foot python in your dog's bed, that you would do something about it? Also, when the emergency zoo guy came to help, he didn't want to remove the dog (which was only partially ingested at the time), because it could have harmed or killed the python. So? Doesn't the python deserve it, since he just traumatized 2 small children?

2. These two college students got kicked off of a Southwest Airlines flight, and immediately assumed they were being discriminated against for being "too pretty". Someone should point out to them that Heidi Klum flies all the time without getting kicked off. That's all I'm saying.


3. Cindy Crawford Eats Cupcakes, Looks Skinnier Than Ever. That is the actual title of the news article. Does this really count as news?

4. This one did kind of make me sad. This little 9 year-old girl in Australia (hopefully not the same one who watched her dog get eaten by a python) got banned from her local tennis club for grunting too loudly while playing tennis. Personally, I think they kicked her out because they're jealous that she's too pretty.

Don't worry, I'll keep you updated on anything else that happens in the next couple of days.

I'm in a bad mood.

Things I hate (in no particular order):

*domestic violence
*barfing
*shania twain
*sitting at a table covered with fluffy bagels and cream cheese that you can't eat (gluten), when you're starving
*misspelled words
*my empty mailbox
*waking up two hours late and not being able to wash my hair
*my hair
*Frasier (the tv show--it's not funny. ever.) and Everybody Loves Raymond too, for the same reason.
*being SO SO SO tired, but then not being able to get to sleep
*phil collins
*acne


Maybe someday when I'm in a really good mood, I'll make a list of things I love. Maybe not.

R.I.P

OH NO! I just got home from work and got some horrible news in the mail. My very favorite magazine (besides US Weekly) has "ceased publication". No! It didn't even give any details or reasons. Just a little 3x5 card saying it's cancelled. I think I at least deserve a personal phone call. I feel so abandoned. It's like if someone told you your dog died, but didn't say how or why. I need some closure. If anyone knows why this had to happen, please inform me.

If US Weekly ever ceases publication, I don't know what I'll do. Something drastic.

this shouldn't come as a surprise

Something happened about two months ago, that just barely is becoming funny to me. At first it was just really upsetting and a little embarassing. But now that time has gone by, and the situation has been (mostly) resolved, i feel like i can talk about it. Basically what happened is this: I crashed into Lee's car, and pretty muched ruined it.

It was December 11, and we were on our way to Becky's birthday party. We decided to take seperate cars, because we had to go our seperate ways afterward. So I was following him to Becky's house, and the roads were as clear as ever. We stopped at a busy intersection (700 E. 400 S. in Salt Lake). Lee was in front of me. The arrow next to us turned green, and lee started to move forward just a tiny bit. I guess I wasn't paying much attention, because I figured if he was moving, the light must be green, so I just stepped on the gas. I ran right into him (hard), and pushed him into the intersection. His back window shattered all over him, and his spare tire came off from under his truck. Normally, the spare tire thing would be the least of our worries, but in this case, it was a major problem. It was in the middle of the busy intersection, and people were either swerving around it, or running right over it. Just as Lee was about to run into the street to get the tire, a car ran over it at full speed, pushing it further into the intersection, and right in the line of Trax. We both saw this happen, and looked down the street to see the Trax train coming right that very minute. I instantly had visions of the tire derailing the train, killing hundreds (or at least one hundred) travelers, and making the 10 o'clock news that night. Fortunately though, the Trax driver saw the tire, and stopped the train so Lee could go retrieve it. Very embarassing.

Here are some pictures of the damages. As you can see, my car didn't suffer nearly as much as his did:







So for the past month and a half or so, this has still been kind of a sensitive subject. I felt really bad of course, but Lee did a good job of making me feel better, even though he was the one who probably should have been consoled, with all the damage I did to his truck. Now that his car has been fixed, this whole thing is seeming more funny to me. Like the time I was handcuffed in Provo because of a warrant I had (later I found out it was actually someone else's warrant, who happened to have the same name as me). Or the time when my car caught on fire at the Pocatello Airport, and the parking lot attendant kept telling me I had to move it, because it was in a no-parking-zone. After a while both of those things became less traumatic, and more funny to me. So that's why I'm writing about this two months after it happened: it has taken that long for the transition from upsetting/embarassing, to funny to take place.

62

it's my dad's birthday today, so i wanted to give him a little internet tribute. here's me and my dad at disneyland in the early 80's:




and here's my brother, my dad and i playing. my brother is clearly not having as much fun as i am:


so as you can see by his haircut, i have a very hip dad. happy birthday dad! you're my favorite dad ever.

geography

I did WAY worse on this than I thought I would. I'll tell you my score after you tell me yours.

click here to find out how much you've forgotten since 3rd grade

INFP

I have been getting a lot of complaints lately (all from the same person) about my lack of capitalization when writing. I haven't been into capital letters since high school, and I don't really know why. When I said to The Complainer "Just for the record, E.E. Cummings (my favorite poet) never capitalized letters", he responded "Just for the record, you've never written poetry". Though rude, he makes a good point. So I'm trying out the capitalization for now. We'll see how long it lasts. I'm mainly doing it because The Complainer has been showing his protest by using all CAPS when text-messaging me. This is very annoying and I would like it to stop.


Also, I took another quiz! It's basically a simple version of the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, which I love. I urge you all to take it yourselves. I know you're all dying to see my results, so here you go (basically, the results confirm what you might already know; that I'm pretty great):

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards. You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings. At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's Your Personality Type?

ho ho ho

so the past few weeks have been full of holiday cheer, and i thought i'd post some proof of that.

first, since i was going to be out of town for christmas (keep reading), lee and i had our christmas before i left. it was pretty great. we both gave each other the same book, and then i gave him a sweater (he liked it so much, he almost started making out with it). here's proof:




so then i left for a cruise to the mexican riviera for a week. my parents and rebekah and i all went, and it was really fun. unfortunately, i only took 5 pictures during the entire week (which is good because, no offense to rebekah, but neither of us were at our loveliest during the trip). but here's one of the gems i took---it's in our room on the ship. this is rebekah enjoying the sunset:




i learned on the cruise that i am very ready to be an elderly person. i like things like buffets, naps, crossword puzzles, and bingo. i even considered playing shuffleboard, but i figure i have a few years before i need to start doing that. my family got on the cruise's version of Family Feud (it's been a dream of mine to go on that show for many years), but i didn't get to participate because i was sick. they came in second place without me. i don't like to brag, but i feel like with my presence, we might have won it all. i'm just saying.

oh, and my dad brought me some mint m&ms that he found in portland! it took me about ten minutes to eat them all.

happy new year!

merry merry merry merry christmas!

I love christmas time for many reasons. getting presents, giving presents, santa, the smell of pine...but with a lot of thought and study, I was able to narrow my favorite things about christmas time down to two. they are similar, but both worth noting:



mint m&ms. i'm normally not a huge m&m fan, but these are not normal m&ms. They are little candy-coated pieces of minty heaven. the problem is, you can't find them anywhere. somehow the word got out that they're so great, and now i can't find them anywhere. Target, WalMart, Shopko, Smiths....no luck. they have a million kinds of m&ms, but no more mint. so if anyone knows where to find them, please let me know. I finished my last bag weeks ago, and now i'm panicking.


thing number two:



these are new, so i'm not sure if they're seasonal or not. but i recommend getting your fill ASAP, in case they're gone after christmas. They're soft and fluffy like a regular 3 Musketeers, but they're minty! and it's dark chocolate! i really can't think of anything they could do to improve on that. maybe wrap it in money or something.


*both of them are also gluten-free, in case you were wondering.

thanks

thanksgiving this year was really fun. we went to the oregon coast with my family. here's what it looked like:





as you can see, my nieces and nephews are very cute.

5 inches

i got my hair cut.





the flash was really bright.

don't be so selfish for once in your life.

if you don't hate helping people, you should look through this list and maybe pick one of these things to do for the holidays. these are all just ideas from my place of employment, but if you don't live in SLC, i'm sure your local homeless shelter has plenty of opportunities as well. if you want to do one, let me know and i'll give you the contact information. or just go HERE.





HALLOWEEN
We are now accepting Halloween costumes for children from toddler to age 17. We have approximately 55 children in Shelter and 125 in our Housing program. Costumes may be new or gently used and can be delivered 7 days a week to our facility at 210 S. Rio Grande Street (455 West).



WINTER SHELTER
Adopt a bed for our Community Winter Shelter in Midvale!

The Winter Shelter is scheduled to open November 1st. Adopt a family bed for one family or for the season. A bed kit includes:
- One top and one bottom full/double sized sheets (they do not need to be fitted)
- Two pillow cases
- Two pillows
- Two washable blankets large enough to fit a full-sized bed

Five bed kits will adopt a bed for the winter season!
Our goal is to get five bed kits for each of the 60 beds in our family shelter to provide residents throughout the winter months. Residents are allowed to keep their bedding when they transition out of the shelter.



THANKSGIVING
Thanks to so many Thanksgiving dinners provided in the community, our shelter residents are able to eat their meal at one of these events. We do not have an opportunity to serve a meal at the Shelter, but we do collect items for turkey boxes which are delivered to residents in our housing program. For a list of items, click here: [Turkey Box Needs]

If you would like to find out more about volunteering to help serve a Thanksgiving meal in your area, visit www.informationandreferral.org.



CHRISTMAS
Our holiday Radiothon Broadcast tradition is coming up; we will have six radio stations broadcasting live from our shelter on Thursday, December 20th and Friday, December 21st. We will need volunteers throughout the day between 8:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. to help gather donations from the street, organize donations in our warehouse, and take donor calls in our call center. We are also looking for volunteers on Saturday, December 22nd, Sunday, December 23rd and Monday, December 24th to help in the same areas. Sign up early! This is a great opportunity for families, groups and individuals. Email jpaulsen@theroadhome.org to schedule a time.

Men's Christmas Bags
We are now accepting donations of items such as full-sized bottles of shampoo, shaving cream, razors, etc. for the Men’s Christmas Bags that will be handed out to 600 homeless men on Christmas Eve. For a complete list, click here: [Men's Christmas Bags]

Candy Cane Corner
The Candy Cane Corner is our holiday store stocked with all new donated items. Our families have a time scheduled so they can shop uninterrupted for their spouses and children. Volunteers are on hand to help pick out items and gift wrap. We are now accepting donations for the Candy Cane Corner. For a complete list of needed items, click here: [Candy Cane Corner Gift Ideas]

Volunteers are instrumental to the Candy Cane Corner (CCC). We need volunteers to help stock the store, organize the inventory, assist families with shopping and gift wrap items. Volunteers are needed Monday through Friday from 1:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., Saturday and Sunday from 12:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. beginning December 3rd.

what a crock.

i bought a crock pot, to help with my previously mentioned health condition. i figured since meat and vegetables are "safe", a crock pot would be the perfect thing for me. so i bought it last week, and cooked chicken and vegetables twice in it already. i brought it to work for lunch and everything, and it tasted so good. but all week i've been wanting to make a roast. in fact, when i pictured myself buying a crock pot, i pictured myself making delicious roast and having a real sunday dinner with friends or something. well, tonight i made my first roast---

let me preface this by saying that i was a vegetarian for 10 years. from the time i was 13 until i was 23. it all started when i had a really gross dream about bacon fat. i was eating tons of sausage and bacon, and drinking the fat (in the dream), and then i woke up and ran to the bathroom and barfed (in real life). then i decided i never wanted to eat meat again. so i didn't, until ten years later when i was in Hawaii at a restaurant called "Cheeseburger in Paradise", and the guy next to me was eating a tasty cheeseburger (in paradise), so i decided i wanted one too. i've been a meat-eater ever since that moment. i haven't however, been a meat-cooker. that part still grosses me out.

so i don't know why, when i was having those daydreams of myself cooking roast, it never occurred to me that there would be things like fat, juices, and grease involved. but there were. i thought i had picked a really lean looking roast (with some "marbling" like my sister told me to look for). i seared it just like they say to. i put in potatoes and carrots, and a little bit of broth, and salt and pepper, and then let it crock all day. by the time lee got off work, i was pretty excited to show off my home-cooking.

i do want to point out, that lee was happy with the roast. he even said it was as good as his mom's (maybe he said that when i was crying, but it still counts). i however, was not happy with it at all. there was so much grease! my plate was all slippery from it. and it seemed like the vegetables had been cooked in pure fat or something. they were heavy and tasted fatty. needless to say, i felt sick all night, and was so disappointed. it was so bad, that when i went to put the leftovers in tupperware, i was gagging, and considered just throwing it away.

luckily, lee will eat it. he better enjoy it while it lasts though, because my red-meat-cooking days are over.


*p.s. that picture is what i imagined my roast would look like. it didn't.

i can't. i'm allergic.

as you might remember from previous posts, i have been sick a LOT lately. enough that i was starting to consider quitting my job and trying to collect social security for my disability. the annoying thing was that all of my symptoms sounded like the kind of symptoms a 10 year-old would make up if they wanted to fake sick and stay home from school. Nausea (constantly), bowel issues, headaches, always tired, feeling dizzy, etc.

so anyway, i took a few trips to the doctor, who first told me i was anemic (yeah, i know). then he told me i am allergic to wheat (also referred to as gluten). so at first i was like "oh good, i finally know what's wrong with me!", but then i immediately changed to "oh no! i can never eat bread again in my entire life!".

so the last few days (since the life-changing diagnosis), have been a huge struggle to figure out what is safe to eat. the first day i pretty much lived on Fritos, because my friend told me that corn chips were safe. yum. and i used to eat oatmeal every day for breakfast, but those days are gone.

here's one thing that made me feel better though.



at least being wheat-free doesn't mean i have to be healthy or something.

boo

i don't know why i always think i like haunted houses. i do this every year. i get all excited, and try to convince people to come with me to a haunted house, and we wait in line--i'm still excited--we talk about scary things. then the minute we walk through the door/web/curtain/whatever, i completely lose it. and not in a "oh, this is so scary and fun!" kind of way. no. more in a "where is the exit, i'm having an anxiety attack" kind of way.

so yeah, i did this again last night. this time, it was more embarrassing than ever because it was at the lamest, cheesiest haunted house there is. at lagoon (which you may remember from this). there's this thing called Frightmares (for those who aren't familiar---which i wasn't until last night) that lagoon does every October. i guess they just kind of make all their rides spooky? i'm still not totally clear on it. anyway, they also add a few haunted houses. so brooke, jefe, lee and i went, and brooke and i convinced them to wait in line forever for this cheesy haunted house. but as soon as we walked in the door i remembered why i hate haunted houses so much, and i was immediately, legitimately scared.

i don't know what it is about teenage drama geeks and goth nerds dressed up as scary monsters, and jumping out at me around every corner, that i can't handle. i am fully aware that they legally aren't allowed to touch you. i am also aware that they are pre-teens who probably have to be home by eleven, and definitely did their own scary make-up. still, when they are hiding in dark corners and snorting (? i didn't understand that but it still scared me) at me, my heart beats really fast and i feel like i want to cry (but i didn't, don't worry). part of it might stem from the fact that school shootings and crazy family murders are always executed by those same drama geeks and goth nerds. so maybe, deep down, they have the potential and desire to turn it into a real haunted house, and torture everyone. well, luckily lee caught on to the seriousness of my fright fairly quickly. he went from pushing scary guys into me and laughing in the beginning, to completely shielding me from them in the end. and he didn't even make fun of me until much much later in the evening when i had calmed down.

pretty much, the pre-teen fellow dressed in all black, with glow-in-the-dark lipstick, who jumped out at me at one point and stayed right in my face, summed it up best when he loudly whispered into my ear: "i'll be in your nightmares!"...needless to say, he was.

things i like lately

1. Home Cooking With Paula Deen---this is a show on the food network. now, don't start thinking i actually cook along with paula. i just like to watch her cook delicious foods, and listen to her southern accent. plus, i happen to know (from seeing her on oprah once) that she survived an abusive marriage, and started her business on her own. so there.



2. Scrabulous---online scrabble for total nerds like me (and lee). it's the second best thing to real live scrabble. and the third best thing to real live boggle. maybe i should look for online boggle...

3. my new job! i love it.

4. cherry coke zero---i love it right now, but i can see myself getting sick of it soon, and then being grossed out by it. so this might be a temporary love.





5. Best Week Ever---i've always loved this show, but lately it's been especially funny. their commentary on pop culture is better than anyone else's. also, we saw one of the comedians at bumbershoot, so i feel like now i have a special "in" with the show or something (but i don't).

good news!

i took a very important test today, and was quite pleased with my results. i wanted to share them with my family and friends, so here you go:





yes, that's right. when it comes to the MTV reality show "the hills", i'm most like Whitney. Phew. I am so glad i'm not like stupid pushover heidi, or dummy airhead audrina. i know you're all dying to figure out who you're most like, so go here and then let me know. if you're a heidi, we can't be friends. sorry.

help

i haven't posted in a while for a few reasons. here they are:

1. i was out of town, in yellowstone for a week

2. i've been sick (off and on) for about a week (yes, the same week that i spent in yellowstone)

3. it's gotten cold in my house, and when i type, my fingers get increasingly cold. to the point where i've just decided not to use my computer. until today when i finally admitted to myself that summer is over, and turned on the heater.

4. i'm still sick.

here are my symptoms, and i'd like to know if anyone has a diagnosis:

a.) gross taste in my mouth at ALL times

b.) upset stomach

c.) raging headache

d.) everything i eat tastes gross. even if it's something that i know for sure isn't gross, like ice cream. it still tastes gross and makes me want to throw up.

e.) grouchy and rude to people

f.) acting like a baby who needs her mommy when she's sick


if any of you have any guesses about the diagnosis, or would like to offer tips as to how to get better, i'd welcome both. mostly because this is what i look like right now, and i need help:

cheaters

i don't want to name any names, but some people might not have taken the quiz on my previous post very seriously, and therefore cheated, throwing off the scores. so i just want to make it clear to everyone that VANESSA is the winner! she will receive a prize package containing all sorts of entertaining/pretty things. i'm so impressed that even though i haven't seen vanessa in forever, and we don't talk super-regularly, she still got 90% on my quiz (without cheating)! i think all those late night conversations when we lived together, and long emails really paid off.

you don't even know

i used to make these quizzes a long time ago, and i decided enough time had passed that i could make one again. i'm sure some of you probably have missed taking quizzes about my life. well, here you go. here's your chance. plus, there are some people who have never taken one. plus, i'd really like to know how well all of you "friends" really know me. the person with the highest score gets a prize! the person with the lowest score gets a punishment!

Take My Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com Can you Ace my quiz? Yes! No Let's Find Out!