boo

i don't know why i always think i like haunted houses. i do this every year. i get all excited, and try to convince people to come with me to a haunted house, and we wait in line--i'm still excited--we talk about scary things. then the minute we walk through the door/web/curtain/whatever, i completely lose it. and not in a "oh, this is so scary and fun!" kind of way. no. more in a "where is the exit, i'm having an anxiety attack" kind of way.

so yeah, i did this again last night. this time, it was more embarrassing than ever because it was at the lamest, cheesiest haunted house there is. at lagoon (which you may remember from this). there's this thing called Frightmares (for those who aren't familiar---which i wasn't until last night) that lagoon does every October. i guess they just kind of make all their rides spooky? i'm still not totally clear on it. anyway, they also add a few haunted houses. so brooke, jefe, lee and i went, and brooke and i convinced them to wait in line forever for this cheesy haunted house. but as soon as we walked in the door i remembered why i hate haunted houses so much, and i was immediately, legitimately scared.

i don't know what it is about teenage drama geeks and goth nerds dressed up as scary monsters, and jumping out at me around every corner, that i can't handle. i am fully aware that they legally aren't allowed to touch you. i am also aware that they are pre-teens who probably have to be home by eleven, and definitely did their own scary make-up. still, when they are hiding in dark corners and snorting (? i didn't understand that but it still scared me) at me, my heart beats really fast and i feel like i want to cry (but i didn't, don't worry). part of it might stem from the fact that school shootings and crazy family murders are always executed by those same drama geeks and goth nerds. so maybe, deep down, they have the potential and desire to turn it into a real haunted house, and torture everyone. well, luckily lee caught on to the seriousness of my fright fairly quickly. he went from pushing scary guys into me and laughing in the beginning, to completely shielding me from them in the end. and he didn't even make fun of me until much much later in the evening when i had calmed down.

pretty much, the pre-teen fellow dressed in all black, with glow-in-the-dark lipstick, who jumped out at me at one point and stayed right in my face, summed it up best when he loudly whispered into my ear: "i'll be in your nightmares!"...needless to say, he was.