i was talking to my sister, amy, the other day and she told me this story about how my niece hit some girl at school (i have no doubt that the girl totally deserved it, and neither should you). but anyway, my niece refers to it as the time she "had to hit that girl". so i can only assume she "had" to hit that girl because the girl left her no other choice. the way i picture it, the girl was probably belligerent or something. maybe flailing, foaming at the mouth, etc., and needed to be hit in order to snap out of it. so i credit my niece with having the kind of awareness of the situation that allowed her to (literally) take matters into her own hands...
...ok i just distracted myself while writing this, because of the word "literally". sometimes people think that they are allowed to use the word "literally" just to place emphasis on their statement or something. for instance: "i'm so hungry, i could LITERALLY eat a horse". now, while i believe you that you're hungry, there is no possible way you could actually eat an entire horse. nobody can do that. you'd have to eat the bones, and the hair, and everything. so you see? it's not "literal". people need to watch what they say. people are constantly haphazardly using that word, without realizing they are saying absurd things. another example: "the Lord is a literal anchor for my soul" (i heard this one in church recently). i can give you a 100% guarantee that there is not an actual anchor on anyone's soul. that just doesn't make sense, and isn't physically possible either.
look. all i'm asking you to do people, is THINK before you use the word "literal". this is my plea. if not, you risk confusing others, and worse, making yourself look and sound like a fool.
...but what i was really going to say was that one time in the 6th grade i had to hit this kid, mitch clark because he said to my best friend anna niichel "girls are like rocks, if they're flat, skip 'em".
4 comments:
Lisa,
You make me laugh!!! I love you to death (figuraltively!) Now I hope that doesn't change my love for you. You see we are really good friends, but my love for you doesn't make me want to die, so I did place "figuratively" in there just for you. Hope that doesn't make you feel less of a friend.
alicia,
i appreciate your clarification of your comment. it just helps to know that somebody out there gets what i'm trying to say. i mean, if i can make a change in just one person's vocabulary, i feel like i've done my job here.
*lisa
Misuse of the word 'literal' is very annoying. Only slightly less so than use of the non-word "irregardless". If a person uses the non-word irregardless everything they have said prior or continue to say afterward must be discounted.
Amy
You know what else I hate "no offense." Just because you say no in front of it doesn't make you less offended. It's like saying Hey I'm going to hhit you, but don't let it hurt. How dumb is that. It has become a polite way to insult people. "No offense, but you look really ugly today." and so stupidly the only response you can say is "none taken." Which means you complimented the blow. You know I bet other countries with their foriegn languages did not invent such stupid phrases!! obviously I do take offense to the "no offense" statement.
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