Saturday, July 28, 2007

but wait, there's more!

i was in las vegas last week, walking through a casino at a high speed, because i hate casinos(the only time i've really liked being in a casino is the time me and shae went to Reno and played roulette. we decided what color to bet on by calling random friends in the middle of the night and yelling "RED OR BLACK?! RED OR BLACK?!" as soon as they answered, then going with their pick. then we played the nickel slots all night, and almost went to see pat benetar in concert. it was great, but that's not my point).

my point is that i was walking through this casino, when something caught my eye. it was a familiar face:



what was the Infomercial King, Ron Popeil doing in this casino you ask? well okay, it wasn't actually him. but a Ron Popeil slot machine is just as good if you ask me. maybe better.



for those of you who are not familiar with Ron Popeil, he's the creater of such wonderfully innovative household items as the Food Dehydrator, the Veg-O-Matic, the Chop-O-Matic, the Popeil Pocket Fisherman, and the ever-popular spray-on hair (GLH-9 Hair In A Can Spray). He has many other inventions that i can't think of right now, but just turn on your tv at around 3am and i am sure you will see him. He practically invented the infomercial. he definitely perfected it. now that i think about it, it's perfectly understandable that he would have his own slot machine in vegas. it probably chops up vegetables and stuff to.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

they just wanna, they just wanna

last night some friends and i had a girls' night. it was so perfect, and consisted of several of my favorite things:

1. hair removal (not as weird as it might sound)

2. candy consumption

3. making fun of people (mutual friends, eachother, celebrities, etc.)

4. facials

5. exchanging beauty tips (did you know that it's good for your skin if you rub melon rinds all over it? true)

6. celebrity gossip (RIP tammy faye)


the best was the waxing. two of the girls are actual estheticians so they totally knew what they were doing. i got something waxed that i never even knew i could wax...




my nostrils!




it was the coolest thing ever! i know you are probably grossed out, but i think everyone should try it. especially old men who have those hairs sticking out of their noses/ears all the time.

we waxed other things too. all in all, a LOT of hair was removed at girls' night.






also, there were endless amounts of diet coke, which made me feel right at home (don't judge me). especially because almost everyone there was also an addict.




so girls' night was a success and i even made gift bags for people, because i started to get carried away for a while and must have thought i was going to an 11 year-old girl's slumber party or something. or maybe an awards show, because they give away those gift bags to everyone who presents an award. only their gift bags have ipods and digital cameras in them, and mine had nail polish and lip gloss in them. but whatever.

Monday, July 9, 2007

tis the season

have you been spending all your free time lately trying to find the perfect gift for me? something that you know i'll love, but that is also practical? well, look no further. i've decided to publish this summer gift guide just for you. so here are a few things i feel that people should buy me. and i don't have any preference which items come from which friend/relative.






and these come in adult sizes:



and it's not like it would kill someone to buy me this pretty dress:



if you really love me, you'd want me to have this (or at least something similar):



i realize my birthday is five months away, and Christmas is six months away, but i think mid-summer is a great time to show love to your friends through material goods. don't you?